Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I can’t do that,” or “I’m just not a success kind of person”? Maybe you’ve even declared, “Success is for other people, not me” while dramatically flopping onto the couch like a 19th-century poet in distress. If so, congratulations—you’ve encountered the sneaky little monsters known as limiting beliefs.
I know them well. I used to have a whole collection, a mental museum of self-doubt. Each exhibit showcased why I wasn’t smart enough, talented enough, or deserving enough. And let me tell you, those beliefs were persuasive. If they had business cards, they’d say: Expert Dream Crusher & Full-Time Confidence Assassin.
Can’t you just picture it? A tiny version of me, decked out in a ninja outfit, preparing to Judo Chop the hell out of any lingering confidence I had left. Honestly, it’s almost impressive how dedicated my brain was to self-sabotage.
But here’s the thing—I was wrong. And if you’ve got a similar collection of self-sabotaging nonsense rattling around in your head, you’re wrong too. The good news? We can rewire our brains to think differently. We can rewire our brains for success!
Where Do Limiting Beliefs Come From? (And Can We Return Them?)
Most limiting beliefs are hand-me-downs from childhood, past failures, or a well-meaning but utterly unhelpful comment from Aunt Karen at Thanksgiving. They come from teachers, parents, society, and sometimes even our own overactive imagination.
For example, In high school, I loved writing, but one day in English class, I got a paper back with a giant red “C” on it and a comment from my teacher that said, “Weak argument.” That one critique hit me like a gut punch. My brain didn’t process it as, “Hmm, maybe I should work on my argument structure.” Nope. Instead, it screamed, “You’re a terrible writer. Stop embarrassing yourself.”
And so I did. I stopped entering writing contests. I hesitated to share my thoughts in class. Even when friends told me I had a way with words, I brushed it off. Because, obviously, that “C” had already confirmed the truth: I just wasn’t good enough.
It wasn’t until years later, when I started writing just for fun again, that I realized something wild—I had chosen to believe that single moment defined me. It wasn’t some universal truth carved in stone. That “C” wasn’t a death sentence for my creativity; it was just one moment, one person’s opinion, one paper. And guess what? That same person who once thought they were a terrible writer? Now, they write for a living.
And that’s the key—limiting beliefs are just that: beliefs, not facts. Which means we can challenge them.
How to Rewire Your Mindset for Success (No Tools Required)
1. Identify the Lies You Tell Yourself
Start by noticing your inner dialogue. What do you tell yourself when faced with a challenge? “I’ll never be good at this”? “I always mess things up”? If your thoughts sound like the script of a tragic melodrama, we’ve got work to do.
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Write them down. Seeing them in black and white makes them easier to challenge. Because let’s be real—“I’ll never succeed” sounds a lot more ridiculous when you’re staring at it on paper instead of letting it run unchecked in your mind.
2. Ask Yourself, ‘Is This Actually True?’
Spoiler alert: It’s usually not.
Let’s say you believe, “I’ll never be a confident person.” Ask yourself:
- Have there been times when I did feel confident, even a little?
- Who told me this belief, and why did I accept it?
- If my best friend said this about themselves, would I agree?
Nine times out of ten, your limiting belief crumbles under scrutiny.
3. Reframe Like Your Success Depends on It (Because It Does)
Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, flip it. Instead of “I’m not smart enough”, try “I am capable of learning and growing.” Instead of “I always fail”, go with “Failure is part of growth, and I learn from my mistakes.”
I know, I know—sounds a little Pinterest-inspirational-quote-y, but trust me, words matter. Your brain is listening. And the more you tell it a new story, the more it starts to believe it.
4. Act ‘As If’ Until It Becomes Reality
You don’t have to feel confident, successful, or capable right away—you just have to start acting like it. Think of it as a game. What would Confident-You do? What would Successful-You say in this situation? Channel that version of yourself and fake it until your brain catches up.
I once forced myself to speak up in a meeting despite my inner monologue screaming, “You have nothing valuable to say!” Turns out, I actually did have something valuable to say (who knew?), and that tiny act chipped away at my belief that my voice didn’t matter.
Small actions, repeated over time, create real change.
5. What Would You Tell Someone Else in Your Shoes?
Imagine your best friend, sibling, or even a stranger confiding in you with the same limiting belief you hold about yourself. Would you nod in agreement and say, “Yep, you’re right—you totally suck! You’re nowhere near good enough for that!”? Of course not! You’d lift them up, reminding them of their worth, strengths, potential annnnnd their fantastic taste in shoes!
So why don’t you deserve the same love and respect?
Start treating yourself like you would a dear friend. Speak to yourself with kindness and encouragement. Your words matter—especially the ones you say to yourself.
6. Surround Yourself with People Who Believe in You
If your current circle reinforces your limiting beliefs (“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t try that” or “That’s just how you are”), it might be time to shake things up.
Find people who challenge you, uplift you, and remind you of what’s possible. Listen to motivational speakers, read books on mindset shifts, or even hire a coach if you need that extra push.
Sometimes, we need others to believe in us before we fully believe in ourselves.
Limiting beliefs don’t just disappear overnight. They creep back in, whispering their nonsense when you least expect it. But now, you know the trick—you don’t have to believe them.
Every time a self-doubt thought pops up, challenge it. Reframe it. And most importantly, take action anyway.
I went from being convinced I was doomed to a life of “not enough” to realizing I had way more power over my thoughts (and therefore my success) than I ever imagined. And if I can do it? So can you.
So, the next time your brain tries to sell you the “You’re not good enough” story, politely return it to sender. You’ve got better things to believe.
Until next time, keep it brash, keep it bold, and keep it true to successful you.
P.S. In case you missed our last article on ‘Anxiety, the Hardest Part of Sobriety’, check it out here!
