When anxiety creeps back in, what do you do?
Let me set the scene: you’ve been cruising along, feeling like you’ve finally nailed this whole “mental health” thing. Your anxiety? It’s somewhere in the rearview mirror, waving sadly as you drive into the sunset. Then, BAM! One minor mishap — like forgetting to mute yourself on a Zoom call while arguing with your dog — and suddenly, there it is again. Anxiety. Back. Smug as ever. Like it never left in the first place.
Welcome to the party.
I blog about anxiety. I’ve written a book on anxiety. And still… I’m surrounded by anxiety. It seems like no sooner do you think you have it nipped in the bud, here it comes trying to worm its way back into your life with a vengeance. All it takes is a few errant heartbeats when you’re feeling a little bit run down, or after you heard that your neighbor, poor Mrs. Collins down the road, had a heart attack—never mind that she’s well into her nineties. Or maybe it’s after you watched your beloved Grey’s Anatomy, and someone just happened to be having heart trouble in that episode.
A few errant beats and suddenly your subconscious is on high alert. I mean, YOU aren’t really all that concerned. It hasn’t been that long since you made your own mad dash to the Emergency Room to be checked out, so you know you’re solid. But the idiot in your subconscious? She’s a different story.
She’s on high alert and just keeps nipping away at your resolve with every flip-flop of your heart until you’re finally starting to pay attention to the rhythm too. Then the danger bells start to ring. Not only because you fear that the idiot might be right, and you might really be on death’s door this time. But because even if she isn’t right, you are still up against fighting one of the hardest battles known to man: the battle of anxiety.
How Anxiety Sneaks Back in (and Why It Happens)
First off, let’s clear the air: having anxiety return doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s not like you hit the “game over” screen of mental wellness. Anxiety is sneaky, subtle, and sometimes downright stubborn.
Maybe you let a few self-care routines slide (“I’ll journal tomorrow… or the next day… or never”). Perhaps life threw you a curveball, like a surprise family visit or a dead battery on your car when you’re late for a meeting. Or maybe it’s just one of those inexplicable things that happen because brains are weird and don’t come with a user manual—wouldn’t that be nice!
Anxiety doesn’t always announce itself with flashing lights and ominous music. Sometimes, it’s subtle. It starts with little things: skipping your morning walk, doom-scrolling TikTok until 1 a.m., or saying yes to plans you know you’ll dread later. These tiny choices can pile up, leaving a teeny tiny little opening and before you know it, anxiety creeps back in.
Think of it like leaving a window cracked on a rainy day. At first, it’s just a drop or two. But before you know it, there’s a puddle, and you’re standing there in wet socks pondering all your latest life choices.
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Breaking the Cycle of Shame
Now, here’s where it gets tricky: when anxiety creeps back in, it loves to bring its bestie, shame, to the party. It whispers things like, “I thought you were better than this,” or “Guess you’ll never get it together.” Rude, right?
But now here’s the truth: setbacks don’t erase progress. You’ve been here before, and you handled it then. Just like you’ll handle it now. The goal isn’t to never feel anxious again (spoiler: that’s not possible). It’s to learn how to respond when it shows up.
Anxiety can actually be a powerful tool when it stays in its lane—it’s like a car alarm that’s meant to protect you, not a fire alarm set to send you into full-blown panic. It’s your body’s way of heightening awareness, sharpening focus, and signaling that something might need your attention. Without it, we’d stumble blindly into danger or miss critical cues that help us navigate life’s challenges. For example, if you’re walking through the woods and a bear suddenly charges at you, you’ll want anxiety to kick in and scream, “GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!” However, that same level of panic isn’t exactly helpful when you’re trying to parallel park and the only threat is a judgmental pedestrian sipping a latte. Anxiety’s role is to alert and protect—but it’s our job to keep it in check and remind it when the stakes aren’t quite life-or-death.
Instead of seeing anxiety’s return as a failure, think of it as your brain’s way of waving a teensy, annoying flag. It’s saying, “Hey, something’s off. Can we check in?”
Take a breath (or three). Ask yourself what’s been happening lately. Have you been overcommitting? Neglecting rest? Living off snacks that are 90% air (looking at you, potato chips)? Treat this moment as a chance to regroup, not to spiral.
What to do When Anxiety Creeps Back In
When anxiety does sneak back in, it’s tempting to panic about the panic. Instead, try these:
1. Ground Yourself: No, I don’t mean sending yourself to bed without dinner. I mean, use a quick grounding exercise, like naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. (Bonus points if it’s chocolate.)
2. Revisit What Works: Dig into your mental health toolbox. Journal, meditate, move your body — whatever has helped you before, lean on it now. There have been times for me after week long bouts of near constant panic, when it has been as simple as reading some literature on anxiety and one single phrase jumps out at me that reminds me that our minds can truly be our own worst enemy. That anxiety is a vicious cycle. You have a symptom, which causes fear to creep in, which creates more symptoms, creating more fear and before you know it your panic is snowballing out of control. Whatever it is that works to break that cycle. Do that! Once that cycle is broken, it is so much easier to talk yourself the rest of the way down.
3. Phone a Friend: You do not have to battle this alone. Reach out to someone who gets it. A little validation and support can go a long way.
4. Don’t Wait for Perfection: Start small. Even a five-minute walk or a single deep breath can make a difference. Progress is progress. It doesn’t matter how big or how small. Whatever works for you is what I want you to do.
Here’s the thing: healing isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a rollercoaster designed by a toddler after eating too much sugar. There will be ups, downs, and moments when you’re pretty sure you’ve lost your stomach or possibly even your own mind. But you haven’t. And every time you face anxiety, you’re building resilience. You’re showing yourself that you can do the hard things — even when they’re scary.
So, the next time anxiety creeps back in uninvited, remember: it’s not here to stay. You’re the one in control. And hey, you might even come out of it a little bit stronger than before (or at least with a great story to tell).
You got this!
Until next time, keep it brash, keep it resilient, and keep it true to you!
We could all use a little empowering. Check out my article on 25 Mental Health Quotes to Make You Feel Seen, Heard and Empowered.
