Every December, we’re bombarded with messages about resolutions: Ads and social media feeds scream at us to overhaul our lives: lose weight, cut carbs, save money, find love, drink less coffee (okay, that last one may be a little unforgivable). But resolutions? They’re often little more than a guilt trip disguised as self-improvement. So, let me flip the script: What if you didn’t have to change who you are to do better? What if, instead of resolutions, we focused on goals—simple, meaningful steps forward that acknowledge our current selves—flaws, quirks, and all—celebrate our strengths, and honor the things that make us authentically us?
I’ve got a friend who absolutely embodies this mindset. She’s a total badass at, well, pretty much everything she does. Is she perfect? Not at all—but honestly, that’s exactly what makes her kind of perfect in my eyes. She’s the kind of person who doesn’t let her imperfections hold her back. At year’s end, she doesn’t stress over what she didn’t achieve or dwell on her so-called “failures.” Instead, she packs a bag, heads to a cozy retreat, and spends a weekend celebrating her wins—big and small—while mapping out her goals and intentions for the year ahead. It’s intentional, empowering, and a reminder that growth doesn’t mean rejecting who you are—it means leaning into it.
Goals vs. Resolutions: Why Goals Are Kinder to Your Mind and Body
The problem with resolutions is that they often start from a place of negativity. They say, “You’re not good enough, so fix it.” That’s a pretty harsh way to start the year, don’t you think? Goals, on the other hand, are a bit kinder. They’re built on the idea of progress. They’re about taking where you are right now and moving forward intentionally, without the pressure of perfection. You don’t need to become a brand-new person to be better; you just have to do better.
Think about it: If you wanted to learn to play piano, would you throw out the keyboard you have because it’s a little dusty? Of course not. You’d clean it up and get to work. That’s how we should approach ourselves every new year—with care, not condemnation.
Let’s talk health for a moment. Did you know that setting achievable, positive goals can actually improve your mental and physical well-being? Here’s how:
- Reduced Stress: Unrealistic resolutions can trigger stress and anxiety when we inevitably fall short. In contrast, small, attainable goals reduce overwhelm and promote a sense of control over your life.
- Boosted Motivation: Celebrating progress—no matter how small—releases dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. It’s like giving your brain a high-five for doing the thing.
- Better Physical Health: Setting realistic goals for movement, nutrition, or rest can lead to sustainable habits that support long-term health. This isn’t about crash diets or extreme workouts; it’s about moving your body in ways that feel good and eating foods that nourish you.
- Improved Mental Clarity: Reflection and intention-setting can help reduce mental clutter, making it easier to focus on what truly matters to you.
Setting Intentions: The Key to Authentic Growth
Before diving into goal-setting, take a page from my friend’s book and reflect on the past year. What made you happy? What are you proud of? What areas could use a little more attention?
Here’s the thing: Intentions aren’t rigid rules. They’re guiding principles. It isn’t about creating a checklist of impossible tasks. It’s about identifying what aligns with your values and deciding how you want to feel in the year ahead.
Maybe your intention is to take better care of your health. That could mean drinking more water, moving your body in ways that feel good, or getting enough sleep—not forcing yourself into a workout routine you hate.
For example:
- Instead of “I’m going to lose 20 pounds,” try “I’m going to move my body regularly in ways that bring me joy, whether that’s dancing, walking, or yoga.”
- Instead of “I’m going to save $10,000,” try “I’m going to be more mindful about my spending and save where I can.”
When your goals are rooted in kindness and authenticity, they become easier to achieve—and you’ll feel better about yourself along the way.
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Why Celebrating Small Wins is a Big Deal
One thing my badass friend does that we should all adopt is celebrating her wins—all of them. She doesn’t just focus on the big-ticket achievements like a promotion or running a marathon. She celebrates it all. Survived a tough week? Cheers to that. Took a step towards a scary-but-exciting goal? Another reason to celebrate.
Why does this matter? Because every little win adds up. Recognizing these small victories is more than just feel-good fluff; it’s scientifically proven to improve your mental health. Celebrating your progress—no matter how small—activates your brain’s reward system, creating a positive feedback loop that motivates you and reminds you that you’re already enough.
Track Your Progress (But Don’t Obsess)
Keeping track of your goals doesn’t have to mean spreadsheets and endless to-do lists (unless that’s your thing). You could journal about your progress, use a vision board, or even make a simple list of things you’re proud of each month.
The key is to stay connected to your goals without letting them become a source of stress. If life throws you a curveball and you veer off course, that’s okay. Give yourself grace. Goals are meant to guide you, not trap you. Simply revisit your goals, adjust if needed, and keep going. Progress doesn’t follow a straight path, and that’s what makes the journey worthwhile.
The Health Benefits of Authentic Living
Embracing your authentic self while striving to grow isn’t just good for your soul—it’s good for your health. Studies show that people who live authentically experience lower levels of stress, better mental health, and stronger relationships. And when you focus on being you, rather than trying to fit into someone else’s mold, you’re more likely to set goals that genuinely serve you.
For example: If you hate running, why force yourself to train for a marathon? Maybe you’d thrive with yoga, swimming, or hiking instead. When your goals align with who you are, they’re not just easier to achieve—they’re more enjoyable, too.
Be Yourself, but Better
The idea that you need to become a whole new person every January is overrated. Growth doesn’t mean erasing who you are; it means building on your strengths, acknowledging your challenges, and striving for more—not to become someone else.
So, this year, skip the resolutions and embrace intentional goals. Reflect on what makes you happy, set your sights on progress (not perfection), and celebrate the incredible, unique person you already are.
Here’s to the New Year…same amazing, quirky, not-at-all-perfect you. Let’s make it a good one—together.
Until next time, keep it brash, keep it intentional and keep it true to you!
What are you bringing into the new year?